Mark Zuckerberg is a man of many titles and many hats: CEO of Meta, suspected AI humanoid, father, husband, and now, apparently, decorated jiu-jitsu competitor. After taking up the sport during the early days of the pandemic, Zuckerberg competed in his first ever tournament this weekend, scooping up both gold and silver medals, to the surprise of the martial arts community and the rest of the world.

Proudly announcing his win to the world, Zuck posted “Competed in my first jiu-jitsu tournament and won some medals for the Guerrilla Jiu Jitsu team.”

The jiu-jitsu world is apparently a big world, and popular amongst celebrities, with famous names such as Tom Hardy, Ashton Kutcher, Jason Statham and even Russel Brand enjoying the sport. Mixed martial artist Conor McGregor was quick to congratulate the tech billionaire, tweeting “Yo!!! F***ing awesome Mark.”

The realisation that Zuckerberg could probably now kick the ass of the everyday person is slightly frightening, especially because the fight images suggest that this would involve him sitting on your face and holding your hand. Perhaps what the increasingly beefy billionaire generation of Zuckerberg, Musk and Bezos need is a big YouTube fight night, to once and for all establish who lands where in the tech-pecking order.