#5: Mars Planets

These tasty little treats were in shops for a very limited run in 2007, but boy did they make an impression. The easiest way to understand the Planets is to picture a love affair between the Mars Bar and Maltesers. Naturally you’d assume the children to be small and round, and full of lovely Mars caramel nougat. That’s where things get complicated. Some of the planets are coming out bisuity, and some like they’re full of honeycomb, making Mr Mars suspicious. Clearly this was all too much for the Mars Corporation who packed in the project after a few short months.

#4: Walkers BBQ Rib

Although Walkers still produce BBQ flavoured crisps under international brand name Lays, there is still a strong British demand to bring back the original BBQ Rib flavour in the UK. In addition to frequent Twitter flareups of demand, there was a Change.org petition demanding the return of “the crisps we were raised on”, arguing that “it’s true what they say : once you go black, you can’t go back.” Although 100 whole people signed it’s not clear that Walkers have paid any attention, and the return of our glorious flavour remains uncertain.

#3: Strawberry Campino

These delicious strawberry-and-cream candies were a huge part of growing up in the late 90s and early 00s, and even form two of my earliest memories. Being bought a pack by my sister, then choking on one, and having to tearily wait while it dissolved in my throat. Luckily for those interested in dipping their toes in nostalgia the sweets are available online, and in a wider variety of flavours – Cherry and Peach are joining the party! Find them on Amazon or in the dusty storeroom of your local corner shop, hidden under a box of BBQ rib.

#2: Dream Bars / White (Snow) Flake / White Maltesers

Weird, waxy and delicious, white chocolate met its maker in the 00s, with the White Flake, Dream Bar and White Maltesers all withdrawn from circulation. It’s not clear what provoked this white chocpocalypse but it broke the spirit of the UK, coinciding with the 2008 financial crash, which then led eventually to the Brexit referendum and now the climate crisis. Thanks chocolate makers, thanks very much.

Honorary Mention: Cheap Freddo

There’s not really much to write here, you all know what I’m going to say. There are lots of ways to communicate the steep price increase of a beloved chocolate snack: Earning minimum wage in 1999 would have netted you 72 Freddos an hour at 5p each, but only 30 Freddos in 2017 at 25p each, meaning the minimum wage would have to rise to £18ph in 2017 to keep pace with Freddo inflation. And that’s well before you even think the words “cost of living crisis”.

Everyday we move closer to revolution.

#1: Calippo Shots

The Calippo shot was an absolute childhood staple for many in the UK. At the same time it was both a deconstructed Twister, and the cooler older brother of the (forgive me) always disappointing Calippo ice lolly, which covered your hands in sticky slime. But if you love something you have to let it go, and we still have Soleros after all. Take those and I’ll riot.

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